The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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