He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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