im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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