so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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