help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
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After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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