I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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