i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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