I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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