Fine. I'll sleep in my office
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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