I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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