Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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