Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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