well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize