I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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