The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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