Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Damn victory sex feels great
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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