I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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