But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize