theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize