I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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