We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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