Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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