Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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