Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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