Non-Jews are for practice
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize