I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
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BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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