Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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