I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize