this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize