I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize