So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize