Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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