Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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