Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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