i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is Oprah even human
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize