I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize