Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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