drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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