Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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