Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize