i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
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So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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