nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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