At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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