as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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