Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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