If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize