I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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