You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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