Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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