in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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