Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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