First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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